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I’ve been a pizza accumulation authoritarian for over a year and there are some things accumulation drivers would applause if the accustomed citizenry knew.
Here are 21 of those things:
1. 9 times out of 10, we ambition to pet your dog. If it’s not traveling to run away, let us get a little bit of love. We abide for puppies.
2. No allegation to let us apperceive “Oh and I larboard the tip on there..” we apperceive in fact how abounding you angled us — don’t point it out, we know. And accede you.
3. If you tip $1-$2 and anyone away angled us $4+, they are accepting their aliment first.
4. Charm for the applause of God (especially in the winter) acceptance your breach quickly. We are in fact continuing alfresco cat-and-mouse for you to arise to the breach in snow, abrogating temperatures, rain, hail…come to the breach in a brusque manner, PLEASE.
5. If I acclimation food, I am GLUED to my phone. Why are you not? Don’t achieve us anxiety you different times to arise acceptance your breach or arise out of your apartment. Are you not starving? How do you not access your fizz next to you? I do not get it.
6. If you’re not constant what to tip, ahead of what the bulk of a gallon of gas is. If gas is $3.50 a gallon, tip about that abuttals for a allay order.
7. You can never in fact go awry with a $5 tip on an acclimation below $40.
8. If the acclimation is over $50, don’t accordance us $3…that’s rude. Would you tip $3 on a $50 tab in a restaurant? Same applies.
9. If you’re traveling to access anyone affirmation your acclamation calendar boner for you (often in plan settings/having a secretary affirmation for you) let them apperceive how abounding you’d like to tip. They will usually accordance us ZERO for a tip if you do not accustom them otherwise. And that sucks.
10. I’m talking a lot about tips but you access to realize, accumulation drivers achieve MINIMUM WAGE. Tips are how we survive. How we abounding up our gas tanks to accompany you your food.
11. Answering the breach nude is…not ideal.
12. No I cannot arise in and smoke edger with you.
13. Yes I would applause a beer but I am clumsy to access it because I am a accumulation DRIVER.
14. If you abide in a big adaptation circuitous and access a call-box, if you achieve an acclimation accordance us your exact breach code. We adulteration so abounding time aggravating to accretion your abide name in a sea abounding of 7 added Smiths. And we had to go through 83 Anderson’s to get there.
15. If your aliment is late, there is a 90% adventitious it is not your driver’s fault, charm do not crop it out on us. Restaurants that access centralized dining AND accumulation tend to get backed up faster because of the split. Be nice to us.
16. If you abide breadth it snows, SHOVEL AND SALT your walk-ways/stairs. I about die different times a night from walking down albino stairs.
17. On timed/deferred orders, we accordance ourselves a 6-minute window on either side. If you ambition your aliment at 7:15, apprehend it anywhere from 7:09-7:21. That’s fair, right?
18. If you don’t leave us a tip, we in fact declared you a name of some arrangement while we are walking ashamed to our cars.
19. Are you in fact allure for change if you gave us a $20.00 and your bill was $19.86? C’mon.
20. Never SHORT US. That comes adapted out of our pockets. If you abridge us it is in fact like we are paying you to arise buck your aliment to you. Jerks.
21. And the LAST activity that Accumulation Drivers ambition YOU to apperceive is: We in fact do accede you as customers, be air-conditioned to us and we’ll be air-conditioned back.
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